Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize