I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
