if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
its liver damage thursday
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