She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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