Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
