i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I sprained my soul last night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
