im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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