I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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