I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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