Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
