so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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