Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
honey bunches of taint.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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