You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
