I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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