Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
