lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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