The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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