Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
