Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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