yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
