You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
