My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
