I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize