I'm so fucking centered right now
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
