i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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