sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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