Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
