I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
