I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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