don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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