What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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