I'm jealous of your bromance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
