3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's like God shit irony all over that family
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
