well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
