So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My life is pants optional.
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