people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
