Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
