I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
