Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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