Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
