I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
someone owes me an orgasm
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
