I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
