Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
