butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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