ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
