before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
