I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
