He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
