No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had to cum in my sink.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
