Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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