i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
