drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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