Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
