Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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