my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
