But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
