she smelled like a LAN party
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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