he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
try to milk me bitch
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
