Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
