ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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