Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
