party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
